I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!

OMG! I'm FREE!! I haven't been single in almost 2 years, and it really does feel very good. I'm glad that me and Donovan are just friends now. I'm so much happier this way.. for now. I still wanna be with him. I still love him. I still believe that he's my soul-mate.. but HELLA dont' wanna be with him right now. When he's a little more mature, maybe we'll give it another go. But this time i'm not going to sacrifice others for him. I need to get my priorities straight once again, and it's just all the more easier when he's not around like he was.


Like i said, i'm glad that me and donni are just friends now. It seems like both of us are a lot happier. He tells me he still feels like shit for what he did, and i hope he never forgets that feeling.

Me and Donni = BFF!!


HAHA!! i'm 13 again...

I don't feel like writing. i really don't. but i will.
only because i don't know what else to do really.

Recently, I've been getting very disturbing messages from this person in Fresno. Her name is Jenny. These messages were very simple and to the point- Donovan is cheating on you with me.. basically.


And as it turned out.. she was telling me the truth.


she fucking called me from the cell phone that Donni has, that i'm paying for.


from the first message i received from her. i talked to Donovan about it. He denyed it till the very end. Even when I went onto his myspace and he had put her in the #1 spot, and me in the #2..
feel free to see it for yourself
http://www.myspace.com/rodant

I'm heart-broken,
hurt,
confused,
scared..

I still love him. I'm still IN love with him.

but he's not sure he says.
He tells me he doesn't know what he wants.
He can't tell me he loves me anymore.

and it kills me everytime.



most of my friends think i'm dumb for wanting to stay with him. they tell me that he doesn't deserve me. that i'm too good for him. but in all reality- sometimes i feel like i don't deserve him. and all the pain, all the hurt... all the misery he puts me through...i deserve. for everything i've ever done.
and if i'm gonna ever get what i want, i will have to fight for it.

i'm not gonna give up on this relationship.

Donovan told me yesterday that i was one of the strongest people he knew. to stick around like i do. to have never given up.
it's hard. it's always been hard...
but it's always worth it.


i figured that out quick.